And then there were three

9 Months of waiting. 9 Months takes forever and then some.

I whine and cry and I try to stay strong. I try to tell myself 9 monthys is not all that long. The last days are another 9 months and the ones I go overdue are an eternity.

I wait for the ?pain, welcome it when it comes. I must be masochistic. Ecstatic when the contractions comes, I want to take it all back when he doesn’t want to turn and I can’t push him out. I don’t want contractions and I don’t want a baby and I. want. this. baby. out.

Then the moment we’ve waited for comes. 9 Months we’ve waited for this: a little perfect human being slips out, slips into our world and our lives. It’s a new little life that never was before. It looks at me with dark, blinking little eyes. I hold it close and welcome it.

CALEB THEODORE

Loyal and brave. And God’s gift. God’s gift of life to us. Why He would trust us with one of His treausres, I sure don’t know.

And then again I do.

Teaching us, leading us by giving us tiny little […]

The D-day in which nothing happens

I’m going psycho. I’m 40 weeks pregnant and I need to not be pregnant anymore.

I need to be able to wear pretty dresses, because it’s an important part of life.

I need to be able to move. Like a human, not a robot.

I need to be able to sleep without getting kicked away at. From the inside.

I need…

Well…you get it.

And really…I’ve been praying about it. Really seriously. I have prayed and asked for this baby to be born already. Like, 3 weeks ago. And it’s been an on repeat prayer, too.

How hard is it for God, who created everything and everybody, to let this baby be born? I ask for bread and I get a stone, that’s what it feels like.

But then the buts come in.

I am reminded of some words I read, not sure where. Pregnancy brain here. Don’t judge.

Anyway. The words in their exact order I have forgotten, but the message I have not. I’m great like that.

It went something like this:

‘Have I grasped all the gifts God gives me greedily? Have I giddily been enjoying the gifts, and not thanking the giver?’

And now, when […]