Not lost, not alone

Sometimes the days seem to follow each other too quickly. I feel like I’m running on a barrel, trying to keep up so I don’t fall down. No time for rest, no time for peace.

Diapers need changing and food needs to be cooked. Appointments and lunches and chickens in dirty coops..

I feel lost in the busyness, alone in the crowd. Doesn’t matter how many great friends I have, how many people I see and things I do.

God seems silent and I got nothing when I read my bible. I ask Him to talk, but He waits.

Waits until I make room, time in my life and my heart.

A song, a lyric, a note, a thought, slowly I wander back. I want more, because i like the feeling of being found.

It brings peace and joy, if I stay by His side.

He talks to me and I hear Him again. My days are not random beads on a string that’s too full of them. There’s rest and hope and a reason, even though the busyness might be the same. He creates space where I saw none.

Peace and love and kindness where there were none.

[…]

Joy on Rainy Days

It’s gray and rainy and children are teething and get sick.

Sometimes you have to look hard and long before you find joy. Sometimes you don’t find it for awhile and you forget yesterday. Sometimes you have to sit and stare and drink another cup of tea.

But it really is true: ‘Joy comes in the morning’. And there is never, ever a moment in which we can not hope on God. In the rain and through the crying we can hope on Him.

Everytime again He sends comfort, and His smile. Not always the same way; always different. You have to look for it, search. Open wide and receive it.

Finding a hat that was lost, visitors that clean windows and bring tulips, an hour with baby before the others wake up and kisses for just mama.

God takes care of me. God loves me.

Sometiems I forget it in my head, but my heart always knows it. Sometimes I don’t want it, but I always come running back.

Linking with lisajobaker.com for?Five Minute Writing

Five minute friday: reflect

Life is made up of moments. Ever so many of them, stringed on the rope of my life.

And when life is busy I keep planning and making lists and I keep shoving them of, pushing them away to some ‘later’ time. But then later becomes now and I still haven’t done it. I haven’t learned to be patient and loving and humble and kind and joyful. On which moment will I learn how to do that? If I would really believe that THE moment would come, you know, the one where you have inspiration and everlasting time and your are totally grown-up and the situation is just right…Then I could just put it of till then.But that won’t come, will it?

So I have to chose today and tomorrow and these times right now to do what I want to do.

When I look back to today, I don’t want to remember me longing for tomorrow; For the perfect day and time that I never quite got to.

I want to make memories today and become a better wife and mom and friend today and live like Jesus might call me home tonight. If He were to […]

Tree

A tree is a strong thing. A sure thing.

When I was 6, we lived in a house in town, and we had a gigantic one. A few years ago I went to visit the church that meets there, on the first floor of the building that was our house. And I was quite indignant to see that the tree had been cut down. Like they’d cut down a part of my childhood.There’s a nursery in our living room the grass is long and mostly weeds and I try to see three little children running around. And dad drawing us big pictures on the blackboard and hey! Where’d that go, people?

In the next house, we had a tree with a rope swing. The tree stood on the top of a little hill, so you could grab the rope and really swing. All romantical and real, you know.

The house after that had poplars that we could climb in and since the top was cut of each year, we could stand on the flat part and be hidden by the branches growing above and around it. And then there was a weeping willow with a swing where I […]

Meeting God in the ordinary moments

Linking up with Lisajobaker.com to write for five minutes on the word ‘Ordinary’. No editing or over-thinking.

Go.

I have done my quiet time ever since I can remember. It’s one of my parents’ wonderful gifts to me. It’s a given to have time with God each day.

Because I’ve always done it, though, it is a given. It was a requirement, one of the rules you follow to be a good Christian. And it took me a while to make it my own, instead of doing it just because my parents told me to. I would feel guilty for not hearing God’s voice, for not being inspired every time. That made me a bad Christian.

But you know something wonderful??It didn’t make me a bad Christian. It made quite ?time normal and good and human. It gave me perseverance.

Just like you say ‘in good and in bad days’ in your wedding vows, so it is with God. You keep on meeting Him in moments where you are tired because your baby kept you up all night and in moments where you feel super inspired and energetic. God meets you either way.

I […]

Write

I’ve kept on and on diaries for years. I’ve always scribbled on little notepads. But I never realized I really love to write until a year ago. My head is so chaotic, and there’s always so much swirling around in there. Writing it down keeps me sane sometimes.

And then I’m so quick to speak what I think, what I haven’t even thought out yet. Writing is slow and you can edit and proofread and not only spellcheck but also lovecheck, if you take the time.

Writing is therapeutic.

It’s fun and it’s discovering who you are a little more each time.

Writing is recording memories.

Keeping it safe.

To read now or to read later.?If something was said and you weren’t there..you missed it. But if it was written? You’re never to late to read it.

So for the 31 day writing challenge? I’m recording stories. Stories of how Jesus changed lives, and how He continues to do it. I want to write it all down. How God is on the playground and how He’s in America as well. How He can use tragedy to bring His children to His bosom. How He’s loved us from the very moment […]

True

Linking up with Lisajobaker.com for 5 minutes of writing on the word of the week. This week: ‘True’.

For years I’ve lived with the illusion that truth must always be spoken.That honesty means always telling what is true, what you think, out loud, and now is the right time.

Then I found out.. It ain’t true.

It has the tendency to clash with love.

And it must be love that comes first, all the time.

Truth is sometimes best kept behind a nice little white picket fence with a smile.

Because what good will it do if I tell you I think your skirt is ugly? It has to be beneficial I’m ?going to say it. And telling you your skirt is ugly is not exactly beneficial. Now if you were to ask me if I liked your skirt, then it’s a whole different thing.

That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in saying the truth anymore. I am all for saying the truth. But in my light-bulb, revalationish moment of wisdom…it entered my mind that sometimes…sometimes it’s not the moment for truth.

That doesn’t mean it’s hypocritical, lying or fake.

It means it’s the wrong time. Or it means […]