Why the buttercups and the babies?

buttercupsandbabies

In this world there are buttercups and baby toes and tiny little dewdrops.

Also, there’s evil that barges in with a shattering silence, shooting heartache into the world. They shoot it into lives while shooting away lives.

Me? I don’t know what the “should”s are that I ought to do.

Should I focus on the pretty, on the cute? Leave the heartbroken to fend for themselves? Or Should I focus on the pain, the broken things and

Do I keep myself safe, guard my children fiercely and only?

There might be a balance to do both, but I dislike it. Balance seems halfhearted. I prefer throwing myself into things entirely. I’m not saying that approach is the wisest. Only that this comes more naturally to my impulsive character.

I look outside and it’s grey out there. ‘Nippy’, a long forgotten word Emily’s mom taught me again. It says it quite right. The big tree that towers over our not so small house has lost most of its leaves. The empty branches stand out starkly against the grey watercolor sky. The rain falls down silently, slowly while birds fly by in a hurry.

It seems only right. With all the pain in the world.

Why should flowers bloom and sunshine warm us?

And yet it will. It always does.

After the holocaust, the killing fields, the massacre on the Sinjar mountain and after school shootings. The sun will come out and we’ll find our way to deal with the pain.

I’m glad God gives me a way. My way isn’t good enough.

Still, I grapple with questions.

Why, God?

Why did you make the world like this, knowing it would fail?

Why do you allow evil to do so much?

To hurt the buttercups and the babies?

Why? Why the families having dinner in a restaurant, friends listening to a concert, people laughing?in the street? Mothers cooking supper in villages far away from here, in Africa and Syria? Fathers and Mothers and sons and daughters going to the market, little children playing on the place where an earthquake will shatter the earth, girls stolen for wicked purposes?

I wonder…what is it that I want God to do?

Would I rather have no choice? Be forced to love?

No, I choose the choice.

But really, God, You should at least stop the really bad things happening to the innocent. Protect little girls from brothers who don’t treat them like little sisters.

Would a perfect world be better, where there was no pain?

It would. But only if it was our choice. If we loved by choice because we choose to. Real love.

If we had no option to not love, to not do good, it would just be a cartoon movie.?1D instead of 3D.

And still, Lord, why the babies and the buttercups?

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