{"id":2973,"date":"2015-09-08T13:37:51","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T12:37:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/omily.me\/?p=2973"},"modified":"2015-09-08T13:37:51","modified_gmt":"2015-09-08T12:37:51","slug":"hoe-dat-je-je-ouders-zover-krijgt-om-je-naar-het-ziekenhuis-te-brengen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/omily.me\/en\/hoe-dat-je-je-ouders-zover-krijgt-om-je-naar-het-ziekenhuis-te-brengen\/","title":{"rendered":"How to get your mom to take you to the hospital"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\n
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By geust author Gabriel Brignola, age 2\"How<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Hi, Toddlers out there!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n

Do you love the doctor as much as I do? I do so love the doctor! I don’t get why my mom never wants to?take me to him when I hurt my finger or my leg or my toes. I mean, there might not be any?blood or anything, but it still hurts, you know!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
Sunday night, I fell down the stairs. It was a massive fall, quite spectacular really. It is still unclear how it happened, we are debating the possibility of my brother pushing me in his exitcement to be first. He gets quite excited about stuff like that.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

So anyway. We went to the hospital, and it was awesome. We went to a hospital a little farther away because my uncle works there, he’s with the ambulance. So we went in uncle Nick’s hospital and his doctor and his nurses fixed me up. They all thought I was so cute. Which I am.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
I had so much fun there, I wanted to go back. But my mom, for some strange reason, did not want to take me. Not when I stubbed my toe, not when I scratched my finger, not when I scraped my knee. She was unmovable. Not by howling, tears, quivering lips. I tried them all.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But I discovered how to do it. Would you like to know the magic? Why, read on! I will reveal the secrets you need to know, with tips for efficiency and fun!<\/div>\n
\"hospitalfun\"<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Here is wat you must do to get your mom to take you to the hospital:<\/strong><\/div>\n

\nMaterial needed: TIC TAC. <\/strong><\/div>\n
Stuff a Tic Tac up your nose far enough so she can’t get it out. This hurts, but it will be ok, just trust me on this one.<\/div>\n
Your mom will probably panic a bit and get angry at you, but it will pass. Do remember to cry loud and heartbrokenly enough for symphathy.<\/div>\n
<\/p>\n

On the road…<\/strong>
\nIf you are lucky, like I was, neither of the 2 doctors she drives to will be home; and she will go on to the emergency unit. Do be prepared for a hysterical meltdown from your mom. It’s a bit disturbing but it doesn’t last too long. She also might call your dad only to hang up on him, but they’ll make up afterwards so it’s ok. It’ll be worth it, I promise!You might bump into some inconveniences along the way, like almost bumping into another car. And the occupant of the car might come over to give your mom a good old shouting and scolding about how bad of a mother she is for driving so fast and especially with kids in the car.<\/p>\n

Anyway. Ignore.<\/p>\n

Your mom might lose her way if she hasn’t been living in the area for long, but if the drive takes 3 times as long as it should, just take a nap. That way you save time, you won’t have to nap once you get home and although your mom might try, she’ll probably give up on trying to keep you<\/p>\n

In the hospital!<\/strong>
\nOnce in the hospital, be a little tragic about telling your tale. Show all the hurts on your body from the last 2 years. Be cute.<\/p>\n

In hospitals there are often fun toys that you don’t have at home, and chairs with wheels. Take advantage of your mom’s exhaustion and play with the toys and the chairs. Just make sure to calm down if you see the crazy look coming in her eyes that tells you an outburst is coming.<\/p>\n

If you did a good job and pushed the Tic Tac way in, the pediatrician will look at you but she’ll send you up to another doctor. This way you get three poeple to look at you: the nurse, the Children’s Doctor and the Other Doctor. Also, you get to wait in 4 different areas: lots of play opportunity while you are waiting!<\/p>\n

Back home.<\/strong>
\nNow when going out, try to help your mom find the paper to get out of the parking lot. Otherwise she’s going to get stuck in front of the gate with 3 cars full of annoyed people behind her, and she’ll most likely leave you in the car with your brothers while running inside to get someone to open it. No fun, I tell you. And most grownups are quite weird about stuff like that. They don’t first open the gate, as any sensible child would. Instead, they give her a scolding about not taking her wallet and losing the paper, which makes your mom more hysterical, and you don’t want that at this point. So do try to hang on to the paper, or see where she puts it. Or maybe give her a hint about it being under your baby brother’s bottom.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
So there you are! Hope you have as much fun at the hospital as I did!<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n

By geust author Gabriel Brignola, age 2 Hi, Toddlers out there! <\/p>\n

Do you love the doctor as much as I do? I do so love the doctor! I don’t get why my mom never wants to?take me to him when I hurt my finger or my leg or my toes. I mean, there might not be any?blood or anything, but it still hurts, you know!<\/p>\n

Sunday night, I fell down the stairs. It was a massive fall, quite spectacular really. It is still unclear how it happened, we are debating the possibility of my brother pushing me in his exitcement to be first. He gets quite excited about stuff like that. <\/p>\n

So anyway. We went to the hospital, and it was awesome. We went to a hospital a little farther away because my uncle works there, he’s with the ambulance. So we went in uncle Nick’s hospital and his doctor and his nurses fixed me up. They all thought I was so cute. Which I am.<\/p>\n

I had so much fun there, I wanted to go back. But my mom, for some strange reason, did not want to take me. Not when I stubbed my toe, not when I […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[112,115],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHoe dat je je ouders zover krijgt om je naar het ziekenhuis te brengenHow to get your mom to take you to the hospital - Omily<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hoe dat je je ouders zover krijgt om je naar het ziekenhuis te brengenHow to get your mom to take you to the hospital - Omily\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By geust author Gabriel Brignola, age 2 Hi, Toddlers out there! Do you love the doctor as much as I do? I do so love the doctor! I don’t get why my mom never wants to?take me to him when I hurt my finger or my leg or my toes. I mean, there might not be any?blood or anything, but it still hurts, you know! Sunday night, I fell down the stairs. It was a massive fall, quite spectacular really. It is still unclear how it happened, we are debating the possibility of my brother pushing me in his exitcement to be first. He gets quite excited about stuff like that. So anyway. We went to the hospital, and it was awesome. We went to a hospital a little farther away because my uncle works there, he’s with the ambulance. So we went in uncle Nick’s hospital and his doctor and his nurses fixed me up. They all thought I was so cute. Which I am. I had so much fun there, I wanted to go back. But my mom, for some strange reason, did not want to take me. 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