Waiting

At the end of the sand, the beginning of the water, and the water comes and goes. Feet in the wet sand and the wave comes back, covering my feet.

Waiting on the next wave, staring at the blue sky and the clouds far away. Seagulls fly there and come back and I want to ask them what they found there, far away in the golden sky.

I can almost feel my wings as I imagine flying there but they are missing and so I stand and wait.

I don’t know what I wait for, really. It’s always something different, something small and insignificant yet important to me at the moment. Underneath, surrounding that, there is a mysterious longing for something I don’t know and something I haven’t seen yet. golden sky

It’s on a child and a house and security. A husband who comes home, the oven timer that goes of. The washing machine that’s done so I can empty it out. That vacation and that meeting, a visit from a friend.

It’s on a home in Heaven, in which I believe and look forward too, for which I received a longing, built into me and wrapped with mystery in the deepest, hidden parts of me.

And yet not forgetting that there’s also now. I still have a while, before I have to go and pick up the boys from school. Now, I am sitting here, with a toddler that talks with the sweetest baby words.

Now the water covers my feet and now ?the sun dries them up. I look at the gold painting in the far away sky and I don’t have to be there to think it is beautiful and to enjoy this moment while I am waiting still.

Now I received a life, a family, passions and friends.?To live this life while I wait.?Wait on God who is here with me and I hold His word and He is with my in this life.

Waiting, sometimes a dance of now and then and contentment. Not forgetting the then in the now and not running ahead of the now for the then.

Enjoying the summer, waiting for autumn. In autumn, with it’s beautiful colours and all of that rain, waiting or winter and?maybe a little snow. Being here and looking at then with peace and rest in my heart.

I cheer on a little block of energy, a tumble and a failed handstand. He wants to do it al at once. Practice, and wait until you are bigger. But especially practice, don’t just wait.

And Abel does it again. one time exhilarated over his accomplishment and the next time frustrated about what doesn’t work quite yet.

Gabriel is the smalles of his class. He would so love to be big and so loves acting big, until he doesn’t feel well and snuggles in my lap with his elephant. There are great big advantages to being small and he wants to use them and enjoy them.

He?tells everyone who will listen that he has growing pains in his back because he is growing. Because growing and waiting for later on sometimes hurts.

Quietly, Gabriel and mama sit, together.

I am holding a fairy tale, soft and he smells better then candy. He prattles in baby sounds and screams if I dare to put him down. Enjoying this so unbelievably much but also looking forward to the growing up.

And Caleb laughs and dances.

Waiting

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