I’m tired and uninspired today. I’m not getting anything done. Sleep Deprivation, it’s a thing. I read a verse and pray and still feel uninspired. AndI yet I feel inspired. Because I realize that I can glorify God just as well on a day in which my brain is foggy and I get nothing spectacular done. Even such an unspectacular thing as finishing the laundry that has been decorating the pantry for a week. Glorifying God, living for God, can be so normal and mundane, that you miss it. Today I don’t want to miss it.?Instead of feeling sorry for myself and beating myself up in my little pity party about not getting anything done, I enjoy holding the baby, again, when he whines because his mother PUT HIM ON THE FLOOR. I enjoy the atmosphere the rain outside gives us inside. A slow day, an unordinary day, a tired day with dishes in the sink and laundry in the boxes. The floor is clean because I cleaned it yesterday and I gaze at it in wonder and
Mike went to pick up the boys from school. I welcome?them home with eggs and hot chocolate. My men […]
Once upon a time I deleted my facebook account. I was spending too much time on it, and it mostly made me unhappy. And what do you know. I gravitated towards the news websites. And then those made me unhappy.
The problem was that it was my attitude that needed to be changed, and not the symptoms.
It’s so obvious, really. Simplicity.
If I get unhappy because of social media, the reason and the cure are very easy to see. ?I’ve been spending more time on those then time with Jesus.
Simple.
Not easy, that one. I try to memorize the Sermon on the Mount, but I have to pull myself from my tea, my novel, instagram, the cookie cabinet, or my thoughts.
Everything in me resists. The more I do it, the more that relationship with God grows, the more I go to God. The more I look forward to spend time with Him.
But out of myself, if I’m just going along without thinking?
It seems more work, it seems more boring, it seems harder. I’ll do it later. Not right now. Later is always a good time.
Some days the words delight me. Some days?they don’t […]
So I think I’ve got it figured out and I’m enjoying motherhood and I never ever want to go back to the land of Growing Up. Or the Land of the Free. And then I go to the Breeze Launch Weekend.Big mistake.The going was great. The boys behaved like the little angels they are. Arriving was okay, although we had to wait an eternity for the key, according to Gabri?l. Abel had fun running on a stone wall. We told him he shouldn’t and that he would hurt himself, but he felt very capable of it, being that he is 4 birthdays old.Apparently 4 birthdays-old-boys do need kisses after they fall of stone walls from which their parents warned them they would fall off.We got installed in the little house and all was merry and jolly when my sister and her husband arrived with their crew of 3. The sound level might have been destructive, but it so joyful that it was acceptable.?All stayed merry and happy really. We tucked the children in bed and my sister stayed there and we went to the meeting. Which was like a mini date, because we only had 1 kid with us. Enjoying […]
So I’m back from the training in which I learned to put more God in my days, and here I am in my house with the children and the laundry and the normal days.
‘it’s ok to enjoy a calm life’, I read.
I will.
The boys are home today, because teachers have to go to school sometimes, too. Gabriel does not get this. His teacher is destined to spend her days and nights in school. She has no right or reason whatsoever to leave school. And so when he wants to go to school at night or on sunday or on this day, he does not understand that there will be nobody there. He giggles and tells me in a voice that tells me what he thinks of my intellectual capabilities ‘Juf Cynthia is there mama’.No, darling. No. Believe it or not, even teachers have lives outside of the classroom.
Should you ever become a teacher, I very much hope that you will come and see me sometimes, and that I will not have to go to your classroom to go see you. Although I do think you might think you lived there, the first year or […]
Life?in this land of Motherhood can be a bit boring and lonely. It happens in other countries as well, but that’s not where I am at the moment.?Sometimes the monotony gets too much. Raising children is an important task, since they are the next generation. But just like one day at school can feel useless, although you know it will lead to getting your diploma, one day of raising children can feel quite mundane and unimportant.The days follow each other like beads on a string and sometimes there seems to be no end. Like there never will be another full night and the word ‘sleep’ in has been deleted from all the dictionaries. The laundry keeps on coming, food needs to be cooked, children are hyper and need to be entertained. I asked Mike if we could just have those astronaut packs that you add water to for supper every day, but he said no. And he also wants to wear clean clothes every day. So there’s no solution to the laundry problem OR the food problem.When those days keep on coming, then I feel invisible sometimes, like I am not part of the useful part of society […]
It’s been going a lot better, when I go back and compare to the time that Gabri?l still wore cute little baby clothes. But that doesn’t mean everything is easy now. At times I forget absolutely everything I have learned and we are back to zero. I wanted to know how it is now, if I compare yesterday to today. So I decided to go about it in a real professional manner.
I’m scholarly like that. I know, I just used the word scholar and that makes me sophisticated and the fact that I just used the word sophisticated makes me a lady and the fact that I am a lady will make my husband howl with laughter. And my mom. And my dad. And I’m going to stop that list here or this post would get too long.
Here we go with the scholarly study. For this study I analysed the results that the activity I chose had on my mood and my behavior.
Occasion number 1: ?I am sitting on the floor in the play-corner and Caleb is playing with the kitchen, being helpful and making fake food from the toy section in Ikea while pulling my hair. […]
It took quite some practice, the drinking of water instead of soda.
But it’s been worth it.
If I don’t watch that movie, even if it doesn’t harm me, I lose nothing.?
If I read my bible, I gain insight and I get to know God better,?and so I gain everything. I doubt I’ll be sorry about not watching Pride and Prejudice one more time when I stand before God’s throne. I doubt I’ll be sorry for reading His word one more time. I’ll just be happy I got to know Him, whom I’ll be spending eternity with, a little better than before. Honestly, it doesn’t make my day easier in the sense that magically He sends me help in the form of?a fairy whenever I think I should have that.?He does remind me I am to grow in patience, grow in wisdom and love. He reminds me of eternity. The purpose of life. The reason I can have joy. Always. That makes the difference, since by taking that in it clears the selfishness from my heart by pushing it away, and the place is taken with something better.
Today was ?a good day. First of all, I remembered […]
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