So I think I’ve got it figured out and I’m enjoying motherhood and I never ever want to go back to the land of Growing Up. Or the Land of the Free.And then I go to the Breeze Launch Weekend.
Big mistake.
The going was great. The boys behaved like the little angels they are. Arriving was okay, although we had to wait an eternity for the key, according to Gabri?l. Abel had fun running on a stone wall. We told him he shouldn’t and that he would hurt himself, but he felt very capable of it, being that he is 4 birthdays old.
Apparently 4 birthdays-old-boys do need kisses after they fall of stone walls from which their parents warned them they would fall off.
We got installed in the little house and all was merry and jolly when my sister and her husband arrived with their crew of 3. The sound level might have been destructive, but it so joyful that it was acceptable.?
All stayed merry and happy really.
We tucked the children in bed and my sister stayed there and we went to the meeting. Which was like a mini date, because we only had 1 kid with us. Enjoying each other and that one child.
But as the weekend went on, I got more and more frustrated. I couldn’t sit in on all the meetings. I could hardly have a conversation that went beyond ‘honey where are the baby wipes?’ and I did so want to meet everybody and talk to everybody because I love meeting everybody and talking to everybody.?
While running after my little man-childs, I saw them.?
All the single girls. Or the dating ones. Or the newly married ones. At the moment, I figured it was all the same.
They could make friends and meet friends and hang out.
All the single girls had not had 3 children inside of their bodies. And it was obvious.?
All the single girls could talk to adults.
All the single girls were pretty and fresh-faced and looked like they actually, like, slept at night.
If they so chose, they could do the prayer walk and pray and spend time with God. Without being spit up on simultaneously.
If they so chose, they could do the prayer walk and pray and spend time with God. Without being spit up on simultaneously.
They had the assurance of leisure time and are comfortable and secure in the knowledge that they can’t mess up someone else’s psyche by bringing them up bad.
Again, I stop. Maybe not right then, though. Right then I was busy looking at people who had not had other people squish their liver and intestines together, inside of their body.?
But afterwards, I stopped and thought.?
Was my life really that much greater and easier and perfecter when I was single and childless? I know for a fact that it wasn’t.
But afterwards, I stopped and thought.?
Was my life really that much greater and easier and perfecter when I was single and childless? I know for a fact that it wasn’t.
I had other stressful things going on. I wondered when I would get married. If I would. What I would do after my studies were done. What if I failed that exam.?And many more. I am talented in finding things to stress about. Actually, I don’t find them. They find me.
Sure. Lots things were pretty awesome. Like being able to sleep in more than twice a year.
But neither did I get to kiss babies that were mine, have little humans tell me I am their bestest friend, bringing me rocks and leaves flowers without stems. I didn’t have little boys come up to tell me full of pride that they can pee while standing.?
Those other girls, they don’t have the annoyance of the babies and the husband, but neither do they have the blessings. They have the blessings of being single but also the annoyances.
Sure. Lots things were pretty awesome. Like being able to sleep in more than twice a year.
But neither did I get to kiss babies that were mine, have little humans tell me I am their bestest friend, bringing me rocks and leaves flowers without stems. I didn’t have little boys come up to tell me full of pride that they can pee while standing.?
Those other girls, they don’t have the annoyance of the babies and the husband, but neither do they have the blessings. They have the blessings of being single but also the annoyances.
That grass. That green grass. I’m looking at mine today in the form of a baby that chuckles and giggles delightedly when I eat his toes and kiss his nose.
And then I can’t forget that husband. Who cleans up dishes in the morning, before going to work. Who plays outside for hours with the kids, in the cold, on that very weekend. So that I could do workshops for 4 hours. Who changes diapers and who takes little boys out of bed, quietly going down so that I can sleep in. So it appears to happen more than twice a year. It just looks a little different.?It looks like a rainbow, with red for laughing and blue for tears and drops?of water out of the bathtub. Yellow for the drops those big boys who can pee while standing leave behind, purple for kisses and hugs. Green for the grass, which is really ?a beautiful green. Brown for exhausting mornings that start way to early and also for chocolate, that decorates their delighted smiles.
Wauw… Wat zeg je het mooi met die regenboog!
Ga je mee op gezinnen kamp?
Ik denk het niet. We zijn er in ieder geval nog nooit geweest…TeenStreet is al druk genoeg 😉 Wanneer is het?
augustus 2016 geloof ik… Wel leuk om te doen! Kom je ook als mama nog eens tot een leuk gesprek 😉