Life?in this land of Motherhood can be a bit boring and lonely. It happens in other countries as well, but that’s not where I am at the moment.?Sometimes the monotony gets too much. Raising children is an important task, since they are the next generation. But just like one day at school can feel useless, although you know it will lead to getting your diploma, one day of raising children can feel quite mundane and unimportant.The days follow each other like beads on a string and sometimes there seems to be no end. Like there never will be another full night and the word ‘sleep’ in has been deleted from all the dictionaries. The laundry keeps on coming, food needs to be cooked, children are hyper and need to be entertained. I asked Mike if we could just have those astronaut packs that you add water to for supper every day, but he said no. And he also wants to wear clean clothes every day. So there’s no solution to the laundry problem OR the food problem.When those days keep on coming, then I feel invisible sometimes, like I am not part of the useful part of society […]
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It’s been going a lot better, when I go back and compare to the time that Gabri?l still wore cute little baby clothes. But that doesn’t mean everything is easy now. At times I forget absolutely everything I have learned and we are back to zero. I wanted to know how it is now, if I compare yesterday to today. So I decided to go about it in a real professional manner. I’m scholarly like that. I know, I just used the word scholar and that makes me sophisticated and the fact that I just used the word sophisticated makes me a lady and the fact that I am a lady will make my husband howl with laughter. And my mom. And my dad. And I’m going to stop that list here or this post would get too long. Here we go with the scholarly study. For this study I analysed the results that the activity I chose had on my mood and my behavior. Occasion number 1: ?I am sitting on the floor in the play-corner and Caleb is playing with the kitchen, being helpful and making fake food from the toy section in Ikea while pulling my hair. […] It took quite some practice, the drinking of water instead of soda. But it’s been worth it. If I don’t watch that movie, even if it doesn’t harm me, I lose nothing.? If I read my bible, I gain insight and I get to know God better,?and so I gain everything. I doubt I’ll be sorry about not watching Pride and Prejudice one more time when I stand before God’s throne. I doubt I’ll be sorry for reading His word one more time. I’ll just be happy I got to know Him, whom I’ll be spending eternity with, a little better than before. Honestly, it doesn’t make my day easier in the sense that magically He sends me help in the form of?a fairy whenever I think I should have that.?He does remind me I am to grow in patience, grow in wisdom and love. He reminds me of eternity. The purpose of life. The reason I can have joy. Always. That makes the difference, since by taking that in it clears the selfishness from my heart by pushing it away, and the place is taken with something better. Today was ?a good day. First of all, I remembered […] In my previous post I said I found it easier to watch movies than to read my bible. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to watch Pride and Prejudice. I mean, Jane Austen. Nothing more needs to be said. But I had a big problem with being patient with my boys. I owe it to them and to God, who gave them to me to take care off, to do my utmost to take care of that problem. Using my time to read, peruse facebook, listen to un-uplifting music, watching movies, or doing nothing…it’s not profitable. Gilmore Girls does not help me react in patience. (Bummer) God does. It makes a lot more sense to spend my time searching God. And that could be on my knees, or by listening to His word in song or read aloud while doing housework. It can be so many things. I knew that, but somehow, it was hard to implement it in my life. God knew this. So He took me on a training, so as to be better equiped in this journey of motherhood then I was. Since my own training appeared to be insufficient. As it turns out, the way […] Besides dealing with the past, the most important thing, which was way more important then the past, was spending time with God. I need?to know Him closely. I want to hear His voice. I want to be so close to Him that His attitude, His character, will rub off on me. Because my attitude stinks. Ask my husband. Actually, don’t do that. Do not ask my husband. I’m not Christlike.?I try to act like Christ on the outside. But it’s not really true. And I’m quite bad at it, at this pretending. And really, how could it be Christlike? I want to know Christ and become like Him but I only read my Bible once a day. And that is?if it’s a good day. I pray here and there, but most of the time, the day has gone by and I realize I haven’t lived closely beside Him all day. I have been living my life all day, and then I pray before going to bed, at the end of that day. Even my good days are often not lived as if God is my all in all, my Father, my best friend, the reason I am alive, the One […] In this journey into the Land of Motherhood, there have been 3 highlights. And the names of those highlights are: Abel Michael Glenn Brignola, 27 June 2011 I knew there was risk of being sick on the way, but I assumed I was above all of that. That was for my mom and my sister, but it wouldn’t happen to me. And so, of course, it did happen to me. I got all the joys of morning-noon-and-night sickness, during which every day was about finding that one thing to eat that might ease the nausea. It’s a tricky thing, pregnancy sickness. One day, milk helps you feel better, the next day it won’t stay down for 3 seconds. It’s a mean thing, I tell you. But I conquered it. At least, that’s how I like to think about it. But I survived it, somehow, and at the end of it, there was Abel. And was he worth it? Yes, yes he was. But did I forget the pain and the sickness, like some people told me I would? No. No I did not. Did I get over it? I’m still working on it. Gabri?l Michael Glenn Brignola, 6 November […] God always does good, and right. He did this in my life, too. He might not have parted the Red?Sea for me literally, figuratively He did. He showed me how the village of Struggle was really a nice place. I’d just been naming it wrong. He told me it’s a good place to stay. I’m going to try to see it that way too. God made everything that ?year work out for good. Every detail He’s used to grow me, to give me strong roots. Weaving past and present together, He showed me His heart, His attitude, always leading by example so that I can follow. It’s been slow, it’s going slow, but I take courage from the fact that I don’t cry anymore when Mike leaves for work. I haven’t in a really long time actually. Everyone has their own story. Their own background. With every story comes struggles. It’s part of being human. Everyone has issues, everyone has uncertainties and things they need to work on. Everyone needs to find out what they think of life, what they will choose to believe, what to live for. The way you were raised influences your thoughts. And so do the […] |
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